The Justice Walk Newsletter - April 2024

Leadership support rooted in equity and justice

My brain is deeply sexist.I'll explain. Recently, I was visiting my friends and their two kids, age 3 and 5. 

The three-year-old had one of the awful upper respiratory virus going around this winter. He was miserable and melting-down because he HATES taking cough medicine. 

His older sister was sitting next to him, holding his hand, telling him it would be O.K., and offering to let him hold her favorite stuffy while he took the medicine. 

I thought to myself, “Maybe she’s going to grow up to be a nurse…”

Her mom said, out loud, “You’re such a good care-giver! Maybe you’ll be a doctor when you grow up!”

😳 

If it was possible to get whiplash from your internally whipping your head around to give yourself an astonished/appalled, stink-eye, I’d have been immediately diagnosed. 

“Wow! My brain is still deeply sexist!” I thought. 

Not with judgment. Not with self-loathing, guilt, or shame. 

Simply with awareness. 

I believe with my whole, conscious being that people of all genders can do or be whatever they want (when they have access to opportunities, of course). 

My brain, though, operates out of its deep socialization into Western culture’s rigid, binary, gender norms. 

I KNOW that.

What do I do with the knowledge that my conscious and subconscious minds have differing values?

Most importantly, I keep moving forward, keep trying and learning. If I give up, or assume I’m too imperfect to show up and do work around equity and belonging issues, the systems win. 

Instead, I remain intentional about watching for those socialized defaults and working to catch them before I act upon them. (Knowing if those defaults exist for gender, they most certainly exist around race, ethnicity, disability, body-size, emotional wellness, sexual identity, class, etc. etc.)

I recognize that those socialized thoughts WILL sometimes lead me to do or say things that I will regret. 

As a result, I practice my apologies: “Oh, I’m so sorry! I implied that girls are limited in what they can achieve because of their gender. That is not o.k. I will continue working on my internalized misogyny!”

I look for times and places where I can actively interrupt and change patterns of thought and socialization - times when I can normalize different ways of thinking and being.

How about you? 

Are there things you’ve noticed your brain thinking that have stopped you in your tracks? 

I’d love to hear them!

Check out this short video of Kara Lawson, coach of the Duke women's basketball team, recently talking about her players learning from failure. They tell themselves the truth, she says: "We fell short here. Here's where we want to get better."

This is the kind of growth mindset we need in order to cultivate belonging. We are going to fail as we think and act in new ways.After we fail, we honestly assess what we need to get better, and grow.Coaches can help us. (hi!

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An important, continuing part of my equity, justice, and belonging journey has been seeking out writing, movies, podcasts, etc that weren't created "for" me.  Engaging with content created by folks with different experiences and identities from mine has helped me become aware of my knowledge gaps and biases in a "safe" way - I'm by myself doing the learning and unlearning before I practice my new knowledge with others. This month I'm sharing information about two such folks I've learned so much from. If you've got someone to add, please share here or through LinkedIn (link below).Sharon Hurley Hall curates an amazing newsletter of anti-racist materials. She has as a vast network and I almost always introduced to new information and new experts to follow.You can subscribe to her newsletter here.Mimi Gonzalez's podcast,

 griefsense "holds space for dialogue around loss and confronting mortality through the lens of social justice, creative expression, and what it means to channel our grief to be present in life— tapping into our inner #griefsense in the process.

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To learn more about my coaching and consulting, and find out if I'm a good fit for you and your org, email me at [email protected]My friend, ala ochumare, of Liberation U, and I also frequently partner to facilitate personalized workshops and group sessions focused on how to foster belonging and transformative relationships in organizations and communities.Quick reminder to follow me on Linked In - button below.