Leadership coaching rooted in equity and justice

Right now, we need to listen to, support, and fight for the rights of transgender people. This month, instead of writing anything myself, I'm asking you to read this essay by Ben Greene, a transgender man.

Your Trans Friends, Loved Ones, and Employees are Terrified. Where are you?

February 23, 2023

I am a public speaker. I am a transgender man. I speak about different trans identities and how to be an ally to transgender people in all parts of life. I am a champion for my community and trans youth specifically, and I love to tell my personal story. I love my job, and if I gave a presentation in Tennessee, one I've given hundreds of times to hundreds of companies around the world, I would be a felon.

This is not hyperbole. If I gave a presentation in Tennessee, I would be a felon.

With Tennessee's newest "anti-drag" bill, any performance by a "male or female impersonator" that "could theoretically be seen by children" and "are harmful to minors" is illegal, and carries a Class A Misdemeanor for a first offense and a 1-6 year prison sentence for a second offense.

If you think this bill sounds vague, you're correct. This bill targets not just drag performers, and not even just transgender people, but anyone wearing clothes that may not perfectly align with their sex assigned at birth. With the spread of "groomer" rhetoric about the LGBTQ+ community, everything we do is seen as sexual and dangerous to minors. The creators of this bill are aware of and proud of the reality that this bill and ones like it will have far-reaching implications—banning things like pride parades and trans "performers" of all types.

Transgender people have been watching these bills escalate in their cruelty since 2019, but few outside of the community have any idea of the magnitude of what's going on. Many of us find ourselves asking "does anyone really care anymore?"

Just how bad have things gotten?

• Parents of transgender youth are trying to decide when and how to flee their home states because of laws making supporting their children into felony child abuse.

• Transgender people are trying to determine whether they'll still have access to medical care, whether they're going to be the victim of a hate crime, and if they need to be fleeing their homes to one of a handful of "refugee states".

• Over 300 anti-trans bills have been proposed in 2023. That number continues to grow exponentially.

• In a likely attempt to protest and prevent a local drag show, a power substation in North Carolina was attacked and 45,000 people were left with no power, no cell service, and limited water for days.

• The department of homeland security released a National Terrorism Bulletin advising that members of the LGBTQ+ community were at significant risk for extremist violence.

• Florida is attempting to increase protections for those accused of discrimination on the basis of sexuality and gender identity.

You may now be asking "why haven't I heard about this? Why didn't I know how bad things were?"

Unfortunately, though right-wing politicians and media have clearly stated that "gender ideology" is their number one priority, those on the left have not responded in kind—either remaining mostly silent, or taking the route of the New York Times. The once-progressive paper has spent the last few years quietly increasing its coverage and platforming of anti-trans activists and phrasing it as "asking important questions", sharing widely debunked misinformation or skewed representations of the issues and most dangerously normalizing doubts about the LGBTQ+ community for many.

When multiple open letters from major LGBTQ+ rights organizations and thousands of NYT journalists were signed to the New York Times calling on them to stop the real harm their articles were causing, they responded by publishing a defense piece on JK Rowling (the figurehead of the anti-trans movement) and begin disciplining and investigating employees who signed the letter according to union representatives.

A search for information about the letters now mostly brings up the counter-letter written by a handful of NYT journalists "bravely standing up to their work colleagues." Access to accurate information is at an all-time low.

How is this impacting your LGBTQ+ friends, loved ones, and employees?

The transgender and LGBTQ+ people you know are terrified. How can you expect your employees to be able to focus if they are preparing for their children to be taken away?

To speak from my own experience and pain, there is a fear and a rage in me that has been sitting on my chest like a pile of rocks slowly getting larger, and I feel like I'm being crushed. When someone asks how I am, I have no idea how to respond. Can I say I'm waiting for the announcement of the bill that will make me a criminal or a refugee in the state where I live, Missouri? Can I say I'm wondering how much longer I'll be able to access my hormone therapy, which I've been on for years? Should I tell them I'm waiting to see just how much worse it's going to get before folks outside our community start paying attention and taking action?

I'm waking up every morning and asking myself if it's worth being alive for the first time since high school. I haven't had to fight this hard to want to live in a long time.

So where do we go from here?

This won't be an exhaustive list by any means, but hopefully, it will give you enough starting points to keep you busy.

1. Stay informed about the state of anti-trans activism. Erin Reed does outstanding reporting on the many wins and losses happening around the country.

2. Work to fight misinformation by having debunking conversations with friends and family members, as well as "pre-bunking"; Sharing accurate information before people hear misinformation has been proven to decrease how susceptible someone is to misinformation or fear tactics.

3. Develop a relocation support plan at your company to assist employees who are fleeing anti-trans legislation or violence.

4. If your company is located in one of the states with active anti-trans political activism (which is almost all of them, unfortunately), make a statement and get involved. Do not plan conferences or events in states that attack LGBTQ+ people. When the anti-trans bathroom bills of 2016 and 17 came up, they were met with massive corporate and financial resistance—losing major sporting events and workplaces. The effect was immediate: the bills died. By not similarly responding to these bills, we let hateful leaders know that they have permission to go ahead.

5. Find out the track record of your local elected officials, and call them either to thank them for their support or to let them know that they are not representing you or your values. Reach out to local LGBTQ+ organizations to find out what their current needs are or to get scripts for speaking with elected officials.

For the final action:

Continue to offer genuine care and kindness to the transgender people in your life.

Skip the how are yous. I can't speak for every single trans person, but I can say I haven't talked to any trans person in a long time who's said "good" and really meant it. What's meant the most to me is friends reaching out to send positive energy, to see if I've eaten on days I've been testifying at the capitol, people sending me reasons to smile or laugh, and friends asking if I just want to yell together sometimes. If you have specific people you want to support, ask them what support looks like for them and how you can be showing up for them, and know that they might not know.

No two ways about it—things are dire, but not irredeemably. There are little victories happening all over the country, and there is so much incredible trans magic and trans joy out there worth celebrating. Together, we can win this fight, but we will have to all work together to do so.

To the trans folks and families of trans youth reading this article, I see you, I love you, and I have your back. I will never stop fighting for you. There are so many people around the country who are fighting tooth and nail for you, and nothing will stop us. If you need any resources or support, please do not hesitate to reach out. We keep us safe. Stay strong.

To learn more about my work, or for additional resources for supporting the trans community, please visit www.bgtranstalks.com

Lately I've been digesting two outstanding books focused on anti-fatness and the intersection of anti-fat bias with misogyny, racism, etc.

The Body is Not An Apology

by

Sonya Renee Taylor

, is a memoir/exploration of all of the ways we are taught to hate and berate our bodies, with an analysis of how this body hatred is especially true for Black female or femme bodies. It's a powerful education not only around anti-fatness but also how anti-Black racism fed and props up anti-fatness. Her reflection questions and guidance for how all of us can practice radical self-love are transformative.

You Just Need to Lose Weight and 19 Other Myths About Fat People by Aubrey Gordon, is a series of essays that break down 19 myths and give readers the tools and confidence to respond to these myths when they come up. Gordon covers hard, intertwined topics with no-nonsense language and a graceful, compassionate style. I especially appreciate her power analysis and prompts for internal and external action steps.

I've included links so that if you're intrigued, you can purchase them now!

Speaking of purchasing books, Kindred Thoughts is my local Black-owned bookstore.One way I practice living my values of belonging, justice, equity, and accessibility is by using my economic power to support businesses owned by Black, LGBTQ+, Indigenous, and others from traditionally marginalized populations.If you are looking for steps you can take - find your closest Black-owned bookstore and get your books there instead of through Amazon. If there isn't a Black-owned bookstore near you, feel free to use "mine"!The folks at Kindred Thoughts are the greatest. Click on the image and you'll go right to their site.

If you are in or around the Jamestown, NY area April 25, come join me at the YWCA's one-day event "Putting the "I" in Diversity: Investment, Intention, Inclusion."Registration at ywcajamestown.com/summit. Tickets are $60.Hope to see you there!

Quick reminder to follow me on Twitter or Linked In - buttons below.Have a question? Drop me a line at [email protected]